Welcome to the alternative reality where a secret organization of hackers, scientists, and utopists have invented a teleporter and decided to build a operational base on the moon, waiting for their time to change the world.
A text adventure using Dedalus (though I did shortly look into Twine) and features over ten scenes.
I created quite a lot of games over the years, but this is the first text game. And focusing on the story was a pleasant change to the usual chores.
The theme "10 seconds" is referenced within a few clicks. You'll smile :)
Also, before you say "not a game", it is, you can even screw up and lose it.
Well, it wasn't really a game, more like a book - because you had really no way to influence the outcome. But the writing, minus few grammatical errors, was good.
nice entry. i like the drawings and website design.
i also like the idea of a transgender protagonist having amnesia - but just a note, the term "sex change" to refer to a single/sudden life event is a bit inaccurate/confusing. not all trans people decide to make physical changes to their sex characteristics, and often those that do only take hormones, which make gradual changes over several years. those that additionally opt to have genital surgery don't typically refer to it as a "sex change", since the hormonal changes have already changed their sexual characteristics quite a bit.
This was a really cool and thought provoking game and I look forward to the final product. The writing and mood is excellent, plus it helped me find the boob jam which is a wonderful, wonderful thing.
Very unique submission, what criticism I can offer is mostly materialistic things like audio, which was wonderful where it was present. Little things like the musical beeps of monitors and equipment or just the teleport sound effect. More of these would only help the atmosphere. The same with graphic doodles.
I genuinely hope to see more of this, the excellent writing makes this game.
I'm not familiar with Dedalus, but it seems to be a pretty interesting alternative to Twine. I liked the concept, but the way the story was told was rather scattered. Like, whoah, why am I suddenly kidnapping Chelsea Manning (and why would I remember that I need to do so?)
I do understand that it's difficult to do longform writing when it's not your first language, but never feel too proud to find a proofreader, even when it's a short time-limit like this.
M
Martin_Monosys30 Aug 2013, 21:58
Are we not supposed to make the sound on our own in those 48 hours and not use http://www.freesound.org/ or stuff like that in the compo! :)
Hmmm, I looked again, the rules say : "Photos and recordings you make of people or things are acceptable content, just you must acquire them during the competition. Fonts, drum loops, drum samples, and sampled instruments are allowed IF you have the legal right to use them." Now I think drum samples and sampled instruments are not the same as samples in general. And when you google this stuff, you'll find lots of jam entries. In the jam, all this stuff is allowed, just not in the compo.... The thing is, I would like to find out who is right here, because if you can use any samples in the compo, that would make life easier for me, too. So no hard feelings, I just want to find out how to understand these rules!!! :)
Good story, even if it felt a bit truncated, and the writing is pretty good. I really like what you've done with Twine here (even the typeface is nice), and the use of graphics and audio is really cool. The little puzzle with the lock is clever.
The bit about the Roswell saucer made me laugh. Nice way of showing that this is an alternate universe.
My main problem is that I felt like I was thrown into the "rescue Manning" plot too abruptly. It's possible that I missed clicking on some link that would have made it feel smoother, but that's still a bit of a problem. Also, I felt lost most of the time, but that's how a person who'd just been teleported to a moonbase would feel, so I won't hold that against you.
In short, a nice (if occasionally slightly pulpy) science fiction story, and a great piece of Twine work, but a bit confusing.
Comments18
i also like the idea of a transgender protagonist having amnesia - but just a note, the term "sex change" to refer to a single/sudden life event is a bit inaccurate/confusing. not all trans people decide to make physical changes to their sex characteristics, and often those that do only take hormones, which make gradual changes over several years. those that additionally opt to have genital surgery don't typically refer to it as a "sex change", since the hormonal changes have already changed their sexual characteristics quite a bit.
Very unique submission, what criticism I can offer is mostly materialistic things like audio, which was wonderful where it was present. Little things like the musical beeps of monitors and equipment or just the teleport sound effect. More of these would only help the atmosphere. The same with graphic doodles.
I genuinely hope to see more of this, the excellent writing makes this game.
I do understand that it's difficult to do longform writing when it's not your first language, but never feel too proud to find a proofreader, even when it's a short time-limit like this.
Now I think drum samples and sampled instruments are not the same as samples in general. And when you google this stuff, you'll find lots of jam entries. In the jam, all this stuff is allowed, just not in the compo....
The thing is, I would like to find out who is right here, because if you can use any samples in the compo, that would make life easier for me, too. So no hard feelings, I just want to find out how to understand these rules!!! :)
The bit about the Roswell saucer made me laugh. Nice way of showing that this is an alternate universe.
My main problem is that I felt like I was thrown into the "rescue Manning" plot too abruptly. It's possible that I missed clicking on some link that would have made it feel smoother, but that's still a bit of a problem. Also, I felt lost most of the time, but that's how a person who'd just been teleported to a moonbase would feel, so I won't hold that against you.
In short, a nice (if occasionally slightly pulpy) science fiction story, and a great piece of Twine work, but a bit confusing.