Making a text-based horror game is a great idea! There's nothing better than one's own imagination to create the right mood. Really too bad that the game ends after the first day, I would have loved to play it further.
It's cool that you used art and audio in a Twine game. The art is crude, but manages to get a creepy feeling through.
However, there's barely a game here (only one choice to be made, and getting a successful ending tells me that this was only the prologue to a longer story), and the writing itself is a bit silly.
A tip for the future: if you want to convey a feeling of horror, make the main character helpless in the face of monsters, needing to hide or flee rather than having access to loads of weapons. Also, mentioning things like HP tends to break the fourth wall.
@Christina Nordlander thank you very much for your critique. Actually there are FOUR possible choices to be made but two lead to a sucessful ending. As for the writing, the game was meant to be silly. I was inspired by Earthbound's quirkyness.
@Vagabond: Ah, I expressed that badly. I meant there's only one occasion where you get to choose, not that you can only choose one thing. (I know the latter isn't true, because I replayed it to get all the endings.)
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However, there's barely a game here (only one choice to be made, and getting a successful ending tells me that this was only the prologue to a longer story), and the writing itself is a bit silly.
A tip for the future: if you want to convey a feeling of horror, make the main character helpless in the face of monsters, needing to hide or flee rather than having access to loads of weapons. Also, mentioning things like HP tends to break the fourth wall.