There are interesting ideas in this. If you want more people to rate it, may I suggest you upload it on philome.la (if you have a twitter account) or textadventures.co.uk and then come back and link it again. Or upload it anywhere else where the browser can directly open it.
Intense game... I liked the thoughts of when you waited with your move. That desperation. Really nice, that you put the "view alternate ending" option in. Don't know if I would have played it again for all endings.
I'm usually not very much into narration-heavy games, but I did enjoy your adventure.
In the first text screen, there were some sentences that ran on too long, and broke the mood a bit. That got much better when the game switched to using short, single sentences.
I was expecting the final choice, and rather than being predictable, I was actually relieved when I got that choice. I think you played very well with the timing.
One thing that was a bit confusing in the beginning is that in many places "next" should actually be "think". In some pages you had a choice between "do something" and "next", and it was confusing what "next" was in relation to the "do something" action.
All in all I enjoyed the game a lot, thanks for it!
it would be much better with actual random element, but the writing is seriously one of the best at this ludum. aside from obligatory mentions of loved ones. they kinda kill the immersion. when facing imminent death, people tend to be a bit more self-centered in my experience.
I enjoyed playing this game. You've managed to create such an engaging narrative that had me really gripped and wondering whether my character would make it to the end.
An interactive story that definitely creates a tense atmosphere! The writing is good and there are many variations in the thoughts of the protagonist but it doesn't really feel like playing a game in the usual sense...
I read it aloud, sitting alone in a room with nothing lit except my monitor. That was pretty darn ambient.
A simple but intense story that fits the theme well. It's definitely a situation I never hope to be in. Pretty long and deep for 48 hours. The writing is pretty good: a couple of sentences felt a bit melodramatic or clumsy, but the majority of this game is well-written. I like the font choice.
Typoes: at one point, you have "dam" instead of "damn"; "asI" should be two words; "beasts claws" should be "beast's claws".
I don't really have any other nitpicks. There's a nice balance between powerlessness and choice, and the entire thing is very powerful.
SPOILER
I like how the ending credits gave the option of seeing the other ending without having to replace the entire thing.
Thank you everyone for commenting. This project was an experiment in my writing capabilitys and i will take what you have said with me to make better storys in the future. again thanks
Comments23
In the first text screen, there were some sentences that ran on too long, and broke the mood a bit. That got much better when the game switched to using short, single sentences.
I was expecting the final choice, and rather than being predictable, I was actually relieved when I got that choice. I think you played very well with the timing.
One thing that was a bit confusing in the beginning is that in many places "next" should actually be "think". In some pages you had a choice between "do something" and "next", and it was confusing what "next" was in relation to the "do something" action.
All in all I enjoyed the game a lot, thanks for it!
But it contains strong narratives.
Really well done.
A simple but intense story that fits the theme well. It's definitely a situation I never hope to be in. Pretty long and deep for 48 hours. The writing is pretty good: a couple of sentences felt a bit melodramatic or clumsy, but the majority of this game is well-written. I like the font choice.
Typoes: at one point, you have "dam" instead of "damn"; "asI" should be two words; "beasts claws" should be "beast's claws".
I don't really have any other nitpicks. There's a nice balance between powerlessness and choice, and the entire thing is very powerful.
SPOILER
I like how the ending credits gave the option of seeing the other ending without having to replace the entire thing.