This unfinished text-based novel is created in Twine and my Debut entry to Ludum Dare. Reach is about a lonesome resident living in a motel, who experiences certain dreams when interacting with people.
I do have an interest in improving it in the future,where I would like to include audio (especially ambient) for instance that fits with the scenarios.
[Update 8-26-2014] - Link has been fixed. Thanks Snoother!
The theme within context of the game is supposed to have symbolism socially and metaphorically.
It has promise, and it's good that you fiddled with the default Twine format to make it look more unique. But obviously it isn't complete so it's hard to fully judge.
Also I recommend that you host it on http://philome.la/ At the moment you've put it up as a web link but it actually has to be downloaded -- this will probably annoy people, trust me, and you may well lose potential players because of it.
It's always difficult to rate text adventures, usually the stories are not interesting and I often am watching something while I test these games. This caught me off guard.
Interesting story, but I kept reaching unfinished endings and then gave up trying to find a not-unfinished one. There were also a few typos in the text. No sound or graphics, due to it being a text game. The layout was fine, but didn't seem to add to the lonely motel guy atmosphere.
It's always a shame when text-based entries have unfinished dead ends. Sometimes narrowing your scope and revising your story so what you /do/ have comes to a functional conclusion is the best option, even if it's not your initial vision.
Also I recommend that you host it on http://philome.la/ At the moment you've put it up as a web link but it actually has to be downloaded -- this will probably annoy people, trust me, and you may well lose potential players because of it.