Light in the Dark

Good idea and story :)

You know, I didn't expect you to be [REDACTED] at first, so that was a nice surprise.

Other than that, it felt like all the choices were essentially random; I was not really a fan.

I guess Twine games are technically on one screen :) Nice one.

I wish you had more freedom to chose your own story.

Very well crafted story :)

An interesting presentation of characterization, but, like others have said, some more branching would have been nice.

This didn't really grab me at first, but then it got better with a few replays, where you can see yourself in other branches of the story.

Very engaging and fun interactive story. Who needs programmers anyways :)

A good amount of text on each page makes it easier to follow but it's a bit too linear for me. I'm not really sure how you tried to fit the theme in either other than it's on one page.

I think the mood is the strongest and unfortunately there is no writing category which is fairly good.

Interesting story! I liked that it wasn't immediately apparent exactly what the player was :)

very neat! i love all the different paths you can take. good job!

Linear and short, but this was a good first attempt. Nice job :)

Cool story - I like the way that the different branches tie back to each other, it's a nice nod to players who want to see as much of the decision tree as they can.

Very nice entry! Good workaround for not being able to code.

Nice to see another interactive fiction. We did a game in Twine too.
Felt just a little too linear for me, but the choices suited the story well, so it was okay.
I think a lot of readers will only play through once, so you may want to make the hook a little more obvious in all of your branches. That would probably help people come back to make different choices as well.

Bah, we need a writing category for situations like these... you did a good job of breaking up your story into bites, but feeling like the beginning--before I understand what I am and what I'm doing--is non-linear, and after I understand my character, it's linear, is a bit frustrating. Choices are great but an informed choice is even better. You don't have to give the whole reveal, but before we know anything our choices become effectively random.

This is a nice little slice of story. I got the dandelion ending--cute :] Thank you for the game!

I like text adventure games, well made story, Good job! :)