Ghost in the Machine

by cilae
Overall★★★★★★★★★★3.19
Fun★★★★★★★★★★2.96
Innovation★★★★★★★★★★2.93
Theme★★★★★★★★★★2.42
Humor★★★★★★★★★★2.79
Mood★★★★★★★★★★3.38
Coolness★★★★★★★★★★100%
And here is my first ever Ludum Dare entry, and coincidentally also my first ever Twine game.

Ghost in the Machine

Oh my god, someone's finally here.

This isn't a game and I need your help!

screenshot

Comments38

PaperBlurt
PaperBlurt20 Apr 2015, 06:07
Great first Twine.
Like the meta angle very much.
Junber
Junber20 Apr 2015, 06:53
Interessting game with a lot of good ideas. Also while reading the dirt on my screen looked like a face from the corner of my eyes making the atmosphere even scarier :D But I cant really see the connection to the theme.
jsmars
jsmars20 Apr 2015, 07:35
Wow awesome start! At first I thought someone went and abused the LD submissions, great little story, would be great with some music maybe :)
sliphtrex
sliphtrex20 Apr 2015, 08:00
I don't often get hooked in text adventures but I actually played this one all the way through twice. I could hear the Renaissance music in my mind. I admit I had a hard time finding the relation to the theme, but mine doesn't have all too much to do with the theme either.
oranebeast
oranebeast20 Apr 2015, 08:04
An interesting idea. Nice lil humor pieces also.
syawqy
syawqy20 Apr 2015, 09:20
this is great, keep me entertained till the end
and make me searching for another ending
Hammers
Hammers20 Apr 2015, 11:42
Great little game. I like the many layers to the meta elements of your story :)
Muffin
Muffin20 Apr 2015, 11:47
Very nice!
ajopart
ajopart20 Apr 2015, 12:19
I deleted the princess !!
benmcnelly
benmcnelly20 Apr 2015, 17:41
OK, twine is seriously cool. Good work and you have some serious skills, can't wait to see what you do next ludum dare!
RobotParking
RobotParking21 Apr 2015, 01:28
Very cool first entry! Twine is super fun to work with.
jukimv198621 Apr 2015, 11:19
I am here to help!

Good first entry to a Ludum Dare and first Twine Game. It is quite amazing the number of branches it may have, would be great if one could grade a game based on its story. I played it once and won, but got the sad ending I guess. Will try again now. Keep up participating in LDs!!
sathorn22 Apr 2015, 12:57
Pretty cool game. Although it doesn't fit the theme at all :D
Taldius22 Apr 2015, 18:36
Really nice game, it has a Stanley Parable feeling. Also being a text based game make it really apart from a lot of game that I've played so this is a good point.
Great job!
rburema
rburema22 Apr 2015, 18:39
toughts: [a bit spoilery!]
- not sure if 'fun' is the right word (not with that ending), and I've only rated very few games at this point, but this was the more memorable experience of them
- I'm having a bit of trouble connecting the game to the theme, though ... was the delete button supposed to be the unconventional weapon?
- "How do you get dust in a game? Messy coding?" :-D
zzForrest22 Apr 2015, 18:43
Great game, but not really sure how it relates to the theme. Awesome writing, but the parts about the castle feeling familiar are a little bit cheesy, and could have been left out (unless I'm missing some sort of underlying story).
KhaoTom
KhaoTom22 Apr 2015, 18:56
Interesting twist! It gets a bit dark at the end but I think I see what you were going for. Would like if you had more time to explore the theme a bit more in terms of more actions that the player needed to perform for the princess. I appreciated all the bits where you interact with her though, checking on her emotional state and such. It's nice work, well done!
OberynMartell22 Apr 2015, 21:56
Great story, but i cant find the theme in there!
Hambone22 Apr 2015, 22:04
Nice entry!
jdselsor22 Apr 2015, 22:18
I loved the idea! So cool.
novadream22 Apr 2015, 22:18
Very clean looking text game. :)
The story got pretty dark, I wonder if there's a happy ending?
dunin
dunin22 Apr 2015, 22:20
Good story, music could add a lot of emotion.
BeardoGames22 Apr 2015, 22:20
Really well done and thought provoking. I wasn't quite sure at any point how it would work out, and I ended up being completely surprised by the ending. Nice work!
shrapx
shrapx22 Apr 2015, 22:25
It seemed quite well written, I almost thought it was real. The princess was a bit more detailed than usual 2D princesses ^_^
WiErD0
WiErD022 Apr 2015, 22:26
Lol, I didn't realize that I was suppose to click the thing that said, "Time passes for a few moments pass and you watch a blank screen," so I just sat their looking at my screen for like 3 minutes. Seriously, though, that is the best text-based game I have ever played. Great idea, what I played was a good length of time (about 25 minutes, I think) for a LD game, but I did burn to death because I'm a bad, unworthy person... (IF ANYONE IS READING THIS, DON'T STEP ON THE PLATFORM!!!) Very innovative game!
Dreyan22 Apr 2015, 23:22
Intriguing story, and considering I'm not usually one for text adventures I thoroughly enjoyed seeing this one through to the end.
Wertle23 Apr 2015, 01:58
I liked how you explored the relationship of what was happening in-game and the role the player had to take, that the player could will things just by saying them. It's something that we don't really disconnect from when we play games so it was an interesting touch. It was a little vague on connection to the theme. This is not to do with your game specifically, but a general Twine musing, I wish there were a way to see how many possible branches there were in a game, to see how much more there would be to explore. Nice work!
emmelineprufrock
emmelineprufrock23 Apr 2015, 04:18
Great first Twine experience. Some repetitiveness, but that's to be expected with the medium. Good work overall and keep at it!
tripleVisionGames23 Apr 2015, 09:56
Found that kinda creepy (in a good way) - thanks for making it.

The concept reminded me of Only You Can Save Mankind (although I read that a decade or so ago so I could be misremembering) but felt a lot darker.

Really good!
raisedmedia
raisedmedia23 Apr 2015, 11:50
I always enjoy text based games like there. I enjoyed your take on it.
Aaranos
Aaranos24 Apr 2015, 06:17
Really neat idea for a story.
tajger
tajger24 Apr 2015, 11:52
Fun meta-game idea, but what about the Unconventional Weapon theme? I guess, I did not get it.
Nikteddy9224 Apr 2015, 12:39
Nice, an old style textual adventure!
Nice Entry!
Octopus Melange25 Apr 2015, 06:11
very engaging text based adventure.... but it really didn't hit the theme one bit...
Xanjos27 Apr 2015, 17:11
Firstly, congrats on completing your 1st Ludum Dare. Anyway, this was actually really good for a Twine game and the story was very engaging (I liked the whole game within a game approach).
markusfisch
markusfisch2 May 2015, 14:18
Reading the first couple of lines, I was hooked! Great story! Well done!
caryoscelus
caryoscelus11 May 2015, 10:19
Wanted to write about connection to theme, but i'll just skip that as everybody seems to have written about that already :)

It could be not completely original (i just wanted to mention a VN built around similar concept, but that would be spoiling it, ha-ha), but this kind of thing is rare enough to enjoy. I really liked it.
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