Your name is Mendel Gerstenblatt, of GerstCo LLC fame. Your grandfather, Isadore Gerstenblatt, created the family company over 80 years ago, and since then, it's turned from the neighborhood greengrocer to a large, multi-planetary industrial conglomerate, specializing in the mass production of lettuce, carrots, turnips, brussel sprouts, cauliflower, "lettuce", cabbage, and other vegetables. But not broccoli. Never broccoli. Not again.
When you were younger, you never got to do much of anything. Sure, you could help with packaging, meddle with the veggies, make some… coercive PSAs regarding the health value of GerstCo LLC goods, but still, small potatoes (get it? Because potatoes are, like a vegetable, just like what GerstCo LLC sells? Huh? Huh??1?).
But now, now you have responsibility. Now, you have importance. Now, you have a salary!
Your job, according to your father (Stewart Pidd), is to colonize the planet PNF404, described by amateur stargazers as, "[muffled noises] … -can't really see it. Wait is that [muffled noises, followed by a scream] … -ere it is, just hiding behind the giant stuffed ibex."
More specifically, your job (according to you dad (Schlomo "The Schlomonator" Gerstenblatt IV)), was to void the planet of any natural or unnatural barriers, with the purpose of ridding any kinds of hindrances that could prevent the preparing of the small sphere from becoming "GERSTCOLLC EXSOUTPST 113 CAR-RADSH PRIMA" Your father has also allowed you to utilize the GerstCo LLC tank collection, instructing you to bring out "an older model, the sort that we won't miss if it doesn't return."
So, with your youthful vim, vigor, and salary, you set off to this "PNF404," determined to go from small potatoes to… average sized potatoes, I guess, and to prove exactly how talented you are at planet prepping.
tl; dr version: There are a bunch of Happy Rainbow Blob Kittens! KILL. THEM. ALL.
You shouldn't have disabled the humor category, you might have done pretty well there! Besides some not-centered text and the map tiles, the game holds together pretty well.
Good title. Your game is not good, though. It lacks sound, there are no special effects when enemies die, it's not very thematic, there's very little difficulty, and very simple level design. Your story is good, but you didn't seem to spend time on much else, other than the background. :(
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A platforming tank shooter was a pretty interesting concept. Played all the way through the final boss. Level layouts were nice. Great job!