It's like a little interactive poem :). I like the way you varied the sentence lengths, and also how at the end you broke up the paragraphs into multiple links.
The writing is very rich and illustrative. Because it's so rich, it can be overpowering. You sort of need to be eased into it maybe? Perhaps simpler sentences should have gone sooner, with plainer images, with richer stuff building as you go along?
I could imagine a whole series of these littler Twine poems :)
I couldn't find sense in it, but that's how expression works, it's so personal to you that that's what it is, and without dialogue and engagement there's only vacuous guessing.
I'm guessing it's about a girl/boy. Or a bunch of them. I would be right 80% of the time, but it doesn't matter, because what you want from this was your expression, not my understanding. If you wanted my understanding, you would have done something that made me understand.
Never been a fan of twine games, but this one is special. It's really well made compared to what I've seen before. Really interesting story (confusing too, but that's OK). Really good job!
Comments5
It's like a little interactive poem :). I like the way you varied the sentence lengths, and also how at the end you broke up the paragraphs into multiple links.
The writing is very rich and illustrative. Because it's so rich, it can be overpowering. You sort of need to be eased into it maybe? Perhaps simpler sentences should have gone sooner, with plainer images, with richer stuff building as you go along?
I could imagine a whole series of these littler Twine poems :)
I couldn't find sense in it, but that's how expression works, it's so personal to you that that's what it is, and without dialogue and engagement there's only vacuous guessing.
I'm guessing it's about a girl/boy. Or a bunch of them. I would be right 80% of the time, but it doesn't matter, because what you want from this was your expression, not my understanding. If you wanted my understanding, you would have done something that made me understand.
So, cool expression.
OH MY GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH. That's really lovely of you to say.