I get the feeling that rether than game you wanted to make stroy. I don´t want you to get discurage, every one has his biginings, but if you care more about story than gameplay or other aspects of games movies, comics or books are better for this than games.
The story is great, really sets the mood well. The graphics were good, more animation would go a long way to making it engaging. I know the monsters are born from darkness, a light colored background would make them easier to recognize, or maybe some kind of glow around them.
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